The Aftermath of Love with a Malignant Narcissist

A very well written article.

“If you are reading about Narcissistic Personality Disorder for the sake of education, but haven’t been in a narcissistic relationship: Imagine being trapped in a Cellar where your Captor has chained you to a wall; the Captor feeds you with JUST ENOUGH food and water to survive; you’re deprived of safety, abused at will, sexually assaulted whenever you least expect it AND this is all being done….. while you are in LOVE….It’s a deranged experience quite difficult to express because it is such a horrible violation to the human psyche. The experience is unlike any other. It is a waking nightmare.”

Yes, absolute horrible.

Your Journey Begins Today

Domestic violence

There are 3 stages of a Narcissistic relationship – Idealization – Devaluation – Discard.

In the blog that speaks about The NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder) I go over the cycle of abuse between the NPD and his Supply. This is an unchanged pattern that every victim will experience, unless the NPD changes (he doesn’t change).

When the NPD finds new supply (one who is suitable to fill the NPD’s agenda) his current Victim experiences waves of abuse prior to the Discard Phase:

The NPD will provoke arguments, blame-shift, exhibit mood changes QUICKLY, and engages in a spiritual assault on the victim’s esteem and soul. Victims of the Discard use words like: Spiritual Assault, Soul Rape, Violation of the Body Mind and Soul, Abuse, and Pure Evil. It’s no surprise to US, because the Discard phase is themost traumatic experience a woman endures while with the NPD. It is really the most traumatic human experience…

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The Apath

!!!

Psychopath Resistance

The Empathy Trap:
Understanding
Antisocial Personalities

by Dr Jane McGregor
and Tim McGregor

IMG_8952

Excerpt: Apaths are an integral part of the sociopath’s arsenal and contribute to sociopathic abuse. Sociopaths have an uncanny knack of knowing who will assist them in bringing down the person they are targeting. It is not necessarily easy to identify an apath; in other circumstances, an apath can show ample empathy and concern for others—just not in this case. The one attribute an apath must have is a link to the target.

How apaths, who might otherwise be fair-minded people, become involved in such destructive business is not hard to understand, but it can be hard to accept. The main qualifying attribute is poor judgment resulting from lack of insight. They might be jealous of or angry at the target, and thus have something to gain from the evolving situation.

At other times, the apath might…

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The Sociopath-Empath-Apath Triad

Speak up !!

Psychopath Resistance

In The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table, the authors describe an incident or exchange involving a sociopath as a sociopathic transaction. Here’s the typical arrangement:

  • Sociopath — the one with the personality disorder.
  • Empath — an individual who is highly perceptive, insightful and sensitive to another’s emotions.
  • Apath — someone who is apathetic and likely to do the sociopath’s bidding.

This threesome is required for a sociopathic transaction to be effective and it usually unfolds something like this: On seeing the sociopath say or do something underhanded, the empath is forced to make a stand. The empath challenges the sociopath, who throws others off the scent by shifting the blame to the empath. The empath becomes an object of abuse when the apath corroborates the sociopath’s perspective. Ultimately, the situation usually ends badly for the empath, and sometimes also for the apath (if his conscience comes back to haunt him or…

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10 Lies We Mistake for Love – Part One

“True love birthed with lies is not true love, it is deception.

True love filled with abuse is not true love, it is lust, power, and control.

True love with a selfish partner is not true love, it is unrequited love and codependency.”

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

False Love ~ Love Letter

This article is the first in a two-part series.  The second part will appear in a post next week.

What is real love?

Poets and writers have attempted to define true love for centuries.  While true love is certainly something worth striving for, it’s not all candlelight and romantic walks on the beach.  Men and women speak a different language when it comes to showing and receiving love.  This sometimes results in interactions that are less than ideal.  However, in a mutually loving relationship, each partner is ultimately treated with respect and consideration; two things that are absent in a relationship with a Narcissist.  At least, from their side.

Often, part of what makes a person susceptible to a one-sided, abusive relationship is painful experiences from childhood.  Unfortunately, it was during this time that many people learned about conditional love.  Specifically, if you were behaving in a particular…

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Signs That You’ve Been Abused by a Narcissist

After Narcissistic Abuse


Self-Doubt

1. YOU DOUBT YOURSELF

Do you recognize that you’re doubting yourself more than you ever have before?

Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something.

This reactive adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is ALWAYS finger pointing and shifting blame to YOU for ALL of the ups & downs both in the relationship AND in the narcissist’s personal psyche.
Because this relationship has NON EXISTENT boundaries, you will find YOURSELF constantly PUT UPON and FORCED to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do or say. This borrowed humiliation and shame is exactly what the narcissist intends for the victim to take from the narcissist. Their own unfelt core of shame.

2. CONFUSION

confusion

Just refer to the above explanation of self doubt and boundary transgression if you want to understand the CONFUSION that is part and…

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Why Doesn’t the Narcissist Move On?

Very well written!
“• You expressed your discontentment at something they said or did and their response was a 2-week silent treatment. How dare you mention that they hurt your feelings? Just when you resign yourself to the fact that the relationship is over…BAM! They waltz back in as if nothing happened, perhaps inviting you to lunch, which you accept without blinking.”

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

man with flowers

Have you been ruminating on this question for months? Mistaking the Narcissist’s repeated reappearances for love or caring; forgiving your disordered partner for “being human”…the old “broken wing” rescue and restore mission?

There’s something wrong with this person and I’m going to do my best to fix them and our relationship. Once they finally realize how caring and forgiving I am, they’ll stop this back and forth and we’ll finally experience true love”.

In my last post, 7 Things Your Narcissist Won’t Tell You, I explain why the Narcissist keeps coming back. The question isn’t really why the Narcissist can’t move on. It becomes “Why can’t you move on?”

Let’s examine some of the reasons a Narcissist leaves, only to come back:

• They were unfaithful and you found out, or they openly admitted to an affair and left, saying they were in love with someone else…

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7 Things Your Narcissist Won’t Tell You

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Do you suspect your partner is a Narcissist?  Do they behave in cruel, demeaning, and confusing ways and you want to understand why?  Do you wonder if there’s hope for a better future with them?  Wish that they’ll eventually see the error of their ways and have a heart-warming epiphany where they’ll beg you on bended knee to forgive them?

Welcome to the mind of the Narcissist.  While you reflect on things from a forgiving standpoint, it’s important to be aware of what your partner is thinking in order to make educated decisions about the relationship and your future.  Here, I’ve taken seven common questions that appear on my blog, and answer them from the Narcissist’s perspective.

  1.  Why do Narcissists keep coming back?

We keep coming back because you let us.  Nothing makes us feel more powerful than having proof that you will take us back regardless of what we…

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Which Witch is Which? Are They a Narcissist or a Sociopath?

Process of Elimination: Navigating Through the Cluster B Spectrum

Deciphering the Narcissist from the Sociopath is some tricky business because they are practically identical. The two biggies that set them apart are the disordereds’ motives and levels of self awareness. In other words, you’d have to get the N/S to be open and forthcoming about the inner workings of his mind if you wanted clarification. As always, you can count out the Narc or Socio for assistance. Unless you crack their heads open like coconuts and unravel the twisted little rats nests that dwell within, that ain’t happening. Those truths are tucked securely away right beside Jimmy Hoffa and D.B. Cooper and the teensy pile of charred ash and grime that used to be the Narc’s conscience.

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